Why are our lives not quite the way we want them to be…?

Why is it that:

  • Our health not as good as it could be?
  • Our relationships are lacking deeper intimacy?
  • Our career is not suited to who we are and what we truly want to do?
  • Our finances are not how we would like them to be?
  • Our personal growth and sense of contribution to our family, friends and society is less than we truly want to give?
  • Our personal interests, hobbies and creative passions are not being developed – being placed on the back burner?

It’s because we CHOOSE to have certain– BELIEFS about these areas of life (and all other areas of life), about ourselves and never truly question how they affect us.

This is one of my favourite topics; Belief VS Knowing.

Most of us have become sentimental creatures, but I don’t think this is our natural state, or what The Universe/God/Life/ (Whatever you relate to) intended for us.

Our natural state is to grow, to expand and experience all we can in our lives, not to stick with the familiar and slowly become mere shadows of what we were BORN to be, or what we DESIRE for our lives, those we love, and complete strangers who are struggling that we could help if we only grew in our lives so we had more to offer to others.

To illustrate this point (that we are naturally experiential beings who were born to grow), simply observe a young child. They want to touch, taste, explore everything they can and they do so without fear. As we grow, go through school and work, we are trained, conditioned to act, dress, and behave in a certain ways; we are fit into little pigeon holes of society and ‘the boot may not fit us’.

We are all unique and enjoy different experiences.

We lose our sense of individuality, and fear ‘failing’, not being accepted and poverty. We fear not passing the test and not living up to our perceived (and real) expectations others have of us.

When we choose to believe something blindly, we become familiar with situations, jobs, relationships, ideas and we hold them close to our heart.

It doesn’t matter if they are conducive to our health, growth and spirit, it matters not, whether they promote freedom in our lives, we know them, they feel like home and we have a sense of ‘safety’ staying in our comfort zone and sticking with our current beliefs about these familiar things.

The comfort zone is the danger zone.

Here is an example of how beliefs can betray us, can shorten our lives and make us want to stay on the same path, to remain the supporting act in our lives for our future, rather than take the wheel of our life and become the main character, the STAR in our lives.

First let me give you a distinction between a BELIEF and KNOWING.

A BELIEF is a strong opinion or idea we have in our heads about something that we hold to be true, often without having questioned the idea – it is ‘in our head’.

KNOWING must be experienced – by doing new things ‘it is done by living and as cliche as it may sound – knowing comes from the heart’.

Beliefs are what hold us back, especially when we derive a strong sense of our identity from limiting beliefs.

Here are some examples of how beliefs can affect our lives in a detrimental way:

  • We believe we cannot find a partner who will love us for who we are due to not being good enough or a multitude of other reasons, so we stay in an abusive or unloving relationship, with no real connection because it is ‘safe’, ‘familiar’.
  • We believe that it is not worth the effort to study after work and/or on weekends to become qualified for our dream career so we stay in a job that we find unchallenging, boring, uninspiring and not in line with our true nature (and complain about it, and think ‘Thank God it’s Friday‘ every week).
  • We believe losing the short term pleasure of over eating, over indulging in alcohol or drugs or any other habit is better than delaying gratification and looking after our bodies, better than truly loving ourselves.
  • We believe that it is just too risky and not worth the hassle to do more in our lives, to truly live and be all that we can, we believe that watching our lives pass us by though wasting it all in front of a square box (TV, Computer, Ipad, Smart Phone – take your pick) is too easy to do and we forget our dreams or WORSE pretend we no longer have dreams!!!

Ask yourself a question right now:

“What is it costing me to continue to believe what I do about everything in my life and what am I missing out on experiencing due to not questioning my beliefs”?

Let’s stop holding onto Beliefs that do not serve us, these ideas and KNOW what life is about, what we can become by going out and experiencing what we want to!

Let’s be BOLD and study what we have always wanted to, talk to our partner if we need to, make an exercise schedule and eat a healthy diet. Let’s put in the effort to live life on our terms!

We can only truly KNOW through experience and that is gained by DOING.

Thinking over and over again that we can’t be, do and have what we want to have in our lives is just conditioned beliefs patters; they may not be of our choosing as children, but as adults they are our own creations and only we can alter them.

As hard as it may be to accept that as adults, we CHOOSE what to believe and are the only ones capable of choosing our own beliefs and what we KNOW, we must take on this responsibility.

Our quality of life will be in exact proportion to our willingness to accept that responsibility and to choose new empowering beliefs and better still, to ACT so we KNOW what is true for us to truly be unencumbered in our journey in life by our own mind.

As Robert Kiyosaki says, “Negative thoughts are not protecting you, they are making you smaller”.

Let’s destroy beliefs about life that don’t serve us, let’s start to KNOW about life.

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Please leave your comments on this post and like it if it helped you.



About Christopher Zuidam

My passions are: human potential/psychology/self-development, skateboarding, Jiu Jitsu playing just about any sport, adventure/being active, travelling, learning, the studying and playing of musical instruments including voice and digitally music. I study by my own means, self-development books, seminars, audio learning and with like minded people. The purpose of Growth for Success is: 1. To promote on a massive scale, releasing mind, body, and spirit from social, insane conditioning (we call normal) 2. Growth and learning, internally and externally and teaching others 2. Education on the TRUTH about health and fitness, healing in body and mind, releasing the human spirit to soar 4. Teaching how to have intimate free spirited relationships with everyone and everything
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1 Response to Stop BELIEVING – Start KNOWING

  1. Jai says:

    Thanks Chris. This reminds me of a theme in an education ad I saw. It said it is actually less trouble to make the effort to learn to read than it is to continue life, not knowing how to. I feel it also applies that making the effort to “do” and “experience” to “know” is less painful and difficult than sheltering in beliefs and being less than we could be.

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