What are we, you and I, living for? Seriously!! What is the point, the purpose of our lives?
This is a tough read… for those of us not yet living on purpose, we could all benefit greatly from considering the points within this post, lets be courageous and read it ALL!!!
What are we living for? Is it for:
- 5 pm or whatever time we finish work for the day/night?
- Friday/the weekend or our days/nights off?
- Our next holiday?
- Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs – recreational or prescribed?
- Our significant other/partner – hoping they will give meaning to our lives?
- Vicarious fulfillment/achievement through our children and what they will achieve in their lives (because ‘it’s too late for us to live a meaningful life, our time has passed’ so now it’s up to our kids to have a great life, at least if they do, our lives will have meant something right?) or is it that we hope that when we do have children, THEN our lives will have purpose (‘reality check’, one day our children will be 18+ and leave home). Will what they achieve give meaning and purpose to us when we are home alone and they are out living their lives, having their own family?
- Our next meal/non-food/drink/coffee/energy drink/tea consumption – the pleasure of eating/drinking non-food; commercialised man-made chemicals that we call food (and we know are bad for our bodies but love the thrill of eating them). They are made up of synthetic chemicals and drugs (on the label they appear as numbers, or complicated names that the average person doesn’t understand).
Tip: we must read the packaging of our comfort food – if we have no idea what the ingredients are, is it real food? Food is anything that can be gathered from nature (meat/veg/fruit/nuts and so on, mixing natural ingredients into a meal is still food of course). Food is NOT a bunch of synthetically created ingredients, thrown together in a factory (calling it food doesn’t make it food).
- Our next video/computer game session or violent/murder/drug/sex ridden TV show or movie?
- Compulsive use of social media and texting people?
- Reading/watching/listening to all the horrible stories on the news or in magazines/the paper/media (and we say we do so because ‘we want to stay informed’, the real reason we watch that rubbish is because our lives are boring and we are escaping the dull glumness of them by watching anything that has ‘SHOCK factor’ – here is a common thought process (often subconscious) that we have while polluting our minds with the ‘news’: ‘if things this bad are happening in the world, our lives must be good, at least we haven’t been murdered, robbed……’.
- The next drama of whatever we can make or take part in/listen to, but in particular, family or work drama, anything to entertain us….no matter how ‘sad’ it makes us feel, at least we do ‘feel something’, we feel alive with all the emotion and confrontation.
- Over indulgence in Sex
- Any other pleasure that is a temporary ‘band aid’ to help us escape our lives because we are just not satisfied – missing a purpose to live for…
Is our thinking every weekday along the lines of this: ‘Is it five o’clock yet? Is it Friday yet?’
Are we just waiting, surviving? Once we have gone on that holiday, then what? Once we have eaten too much and too often, large amounts of ‘non-food’ over and over again, had too many unhealthy beverages, alcohol, cigarettes, engaged in negative thinking, and all the rest… THEN WHAT?
De-Nile is not just a river in Egypt. Are we going to keep living in the River of De-Nile… that our partners or other people in our lives will give us the purpose and fulfillment that we are currently lacking?
Yes, love with a significant other and children are life treasures and can be some of the most rewarding parts of life…. HOWEVER these things although treasures CAN NOT TAKE THE PLACE OF HAVING OUR OWN PURPOSE!!!
What do we want for ourselves? What can we give to the community, the world that will make it better because we were here? What are we creating? How are we helping others?
Are we just trading hours of our lives for a small amount of money in jobs we find bore us so much it causes us pain, sickness, drains our vital energy and causes us to wake up tired (as if we haven’t even slept), and feel lethargic all day, and to top it off, makes us feel the need to ‘escape‘ using some of the things described in the above bullet points?
We must find something to make our lives about – something that will benefit others, more than just our families.
It makes us better partners/husbands/wifes and a better parents when we are doing something with our lives, committing it to an ever evolving, growing purpose so we can be better people
We cannot live a fulfilling life by making our life purpose solely about someone else; we all need our own individual a PURPOSE for us! Let’s make our lives about something! Create a worthy ideal which can be developed over time and change as we do and be ever striving to achieve it!
Don’t just work, find your career, the one suited to you and your skills!
A great way to increase our happiness and sense of self is to work in or study/train to be qualified to work within a career suited to us, that we enjoy, that resonates with our core values and higher self. We are all individuals with our own unique, natural skills and preferences. A job which suits one person will be a very bad, dull and life-draining for another.
So what is stopping us from getting into the career or working towards the being qualified to be in the career we desire?
The short answer is: SCP – our Subconscious Conditioning and Programming.
Many people when I have asked them ‘are you in the career you want to be in and if not why’ have said to me: I am too old, I don’t have time, money, the right shoe size, blah, blah blah…..
There are 24 hours in day – for everyone. Sir Richard Branson, William Gates and Oprah Winfrey do not get 30 hours a day, they have the same amount as the average Joe Blogs who does not work or stays in an unrewarding, minimum wage job.
So question to ask is: Why does one person achieve 10 times or 100’s of times as many things as another – in the same amount of time or less time?
The first thing that separates the highly successful from the average performing person is that:
They stop “arguing for their limitations” (as Les Brown says). They understand the law of polarity – which is simply, that ‘in order for something to exist, it MUST by very definition, have an opposite that exists’. ‘Happy’ would would make no sense to us without ‘sad’, nor would ‘cold’ with out ‘warm’ and so on – (we would have no reference with which to compare these things without their opposites, thus would be unable to differentiate between the two).
The only reason we ‘can’t’ do something is because we have decided that we can’t. It is a decision we are often unaware that we have made as it is decided upon subconsciously, on auto-pilot, due to our SCP ‘Subconscious Conditioning and Programming’ without having truly giving any thought to the viability of our decision to believe we can’t.
So if there are reasons that we can’t do what we want with our careers and lives, then based on the law of polarity, there must be reasons why we can! How else could we differentiate whether it can or can’t be done if both of these variables where not possible?
BOTH the reasons why we can and why we can’t must equally exist to make each other comprehensible – that is to say, we need a vantage point to compare the two or neither would have meaning.
Now on a more tangible level – successful people:
1. PLAN THEIR DAY – by means of a WRITTEN LIST. A thought is fleeting. You can have 100’s of good thoughts in a day that if you wrote on paper as ‘activities to do’ would revolutionize your life. However we have that many thoughts, when we don’t write down what we want to achieve, it is as if we don’t want to achieve anything (even though deep down we ALL want to achieve more)!
2. Cut out some ‘screen time’. If we simply get rid of some screen time (Ipad, Smartphone, Computer, TV) – like magic: ‘PRESTO’ now we have ‘enough time’ to invest in a new venture, a course to study for a new career!!! (see my post about too much TV and its affects at http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/our-best-friend-worst-enemy-christopher-zuidam?trk=prof-post ).
3. They have clearly defined and written goals – with accompanying plans defining how they will achieve them. Even if the plans aren’t 100% complete having a written down idea as to how you will start to go about achieving your goal will give you a solid foundation to begin doing so.
Numerous people over 100 years of age have finished degrees, at University!!!! Yet, I hear people who are 60, 50 or even 40 years of age (or YOUNGER!) say they are too old to study and learn what they really want to! Ridiculous! Lets get real people!!
Why do we pretend we are so powerless in our lives when we have the power to create anything and everything we want.
What is it we are really living for?
For many, in fact, most people; the next short lived pleasure is all they live for, the next escape is all that matters, so they can forget about how boring and unfulfilling their lives are, at least for a moment.
I know in the past before I found my calling, that I have been guilty of this (living for the next short lived pleasure). If I am not careful and not focused on the direction I want to go in my life and my goals, it is easy to slip back into living this way.
Why don’t we ASK OURSELVES RIGHT NOW: ‘Are we going to do the same mind-numbing work year after year after year after year… until we retire and just before we die, ask ourselves if we lived a LIE – if our lives could have been something else… something more?
Many people live vicariously through their children or think their partner is the one who will make their life one of meaning… WHAT A STRONG, UN-ACHIEVABLE BURDEN TO PLACE ON SOMEONE ELSE!
The burden of ‘I feel insignificant because I am doing NOTHING of value with my life, I haven’t taken the time to decide and learn what I want for my life, so I need you ‘my love’ to fill my deep seeded inadequacies’!
There is a general thinking among the conforming people, that goes like this:
‘We want more, something different and more interesting for our lives but we certainly can’t and won’t do anything about it ourselves, something or someone else will come along….ONE DAY and give us the more we want…. because we desire more and deserve more!…
As Jim Rohn said (I will paraphrase), ‘If we want to have more, we have to become more’.
If we truly did deserve more, the more would already be here!
We deserve more by becoming more, and we become more by having and working to achieve goals, purpose and working towards a worthy ideal.
We often use the excuse of not knowing how to live life on purpose.
Even worse, and more common, we CONVINCE ourselves that we are happy and content with our lives how they are, when all the evidence in our lives (poor health, no energy, tired all day, apathetic, boredom, relationships lacking intimacy, no money saved, lots of bad habits designed to help us escape, and the above points) indicate that us being happy and fulfilled in our lives, is a load of rubbish!!!
To be successful in our lives we must educate ourselves with the right data. Most of us learn about life from what we observe our parents or guardians doing in their lives.
We also learn about money, relationships, health and purpose (and everything else that matters) from them too . I believe our parents do the best they can with what they learnt from their parents, with their own toolbox of life.
What sets the successful apart from the unsuccessful is that successful people make it their duty to study these key life areas and life in general themselves and not count on ‘luck’ or ‘others’ to teach them about the values of life!
If our parents are/were in their lives, poor financially, sick and unhealthy, unhappy, depressed, have addictions and their relationship ended in divorce like my parents did, and millions of others, do you think we should learn about money, health, wealth, enlightened relationships and happiness from them?
No matter how much we love our parents (and I do love mine very dearly), we can all do better than they did. I want to teach myself a better way than they learnt and taught me as a child and we should all want to do better.
“It is insanity not to want to provide a better life for our children and ourselves than our parents where able to for us.”
We do this by living a life full of meaning and purpose and gain meaning a purpose by exposing our minds to new information from people who are successful in the areas we want to improve in. Makes sense doesn’t it?
This learning and then application of these skills is what creates a meaningful life. Many people I have spoken to or who have seen my EDUCATIONAL posts say or type something such as: “That is great positive thinking Christopher it is really useful”.
While I do believe that approaching life with optimism is the best approach, the information contained in my posts are NOT merely ideas for positive thinking…
They a minute portion of my learning’s from hours of reading books, free and paid coaching with my various coaches/mentors, attending seminars, reading journals from GREAT LEADERS dating back from before the times of Marcus Aurelius, to newly discovered useful tools from the leaders of today such as Anthony Robbins. It is EDUCATION, which we all need.
It is creates the environment in our minds for higher conscious ways of thinking – and better – richer life enhancing experiences than that which are experienced by the masses who do not think it wise to grow – to learn – to live!
These ideas and thought provoking statements are not considered by most and that is why they never set any goals or do anything of real value and meaning with their lives for themselves and others.
When we fill our minds with the right information and use it we will not need to stay in boring jobs. If we are in a job that does not liberate our energy and allow us to use our natural skills and preferences, the only way we can change it is to learn a new skill(s) and/or provide a different service(s) than we currently do.
This is how to change our careers and the new skills can only be learnt in the time most people spend escaping (by doing the above bullet points) on weekends and after work.
Consider, again, PLEASE for yourself, your family, your community and the world:
WHAT ARE WE LIVING FOR???….. SERIOUSLY???
What do we want for our lives? Are we going to live on purpose or not???
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